IHeartHaiku

Haiku #952

Mon, 21 May 2012 09:18:29 GMT

It's been a while
But I'm still bawws as ever
I run this website

Haiku #951

Sat, 12 May 2012 04:35:10 GMT

How lovely a sight
with those pants that are so tight
let's discard them now

Haiku #950

Sat, 12 May 2012 04:33:47 GMT

You and I tangled
in hotel sheets, basking in
sunlight and in sin

Haiku #949

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:54:40 GMT

timeless memories
unforgetable angel
only in the past

Haiku #948

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:53:46 GMT

the one I had loved
came when he had been needed
my special angel

Haiku #947

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:52:34 GMT

toward tomorrow
i reach for what was once you
the one I had loved

Haiku #946

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 17:45:29 GMT

Woke by unsettled stomach
I had become a McRib.
A McMorphosis.

Haiku #945

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:53:38 GMT

A sparked likeness in
Creating and being in time
A welcomed outlook

Haiku #944

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:31:42 GMT

His cavernous eyes
A frightening howl and growl
Seeking a lil' walk

Haiku #943

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:25:53 GMT

Confused mind leads to
Weeping willow within me
Craving direction

Haiku #942

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:20:19 GMT

A bright summer day
In dirty El Lay will be
Shared with clouds of smog

Haiku #940

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:16:26 GMT

Max Carlson is he
Who resides in my heart
We both love Pandies

Haiku #937

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:13:33 GMT

Once I met Todd Bauwws
Orgasm for my two eyes
Only in my dreams

Haiku #936

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:11:42 GMT

I am Todd Bawws
Hair flows like Wisconsin wheat
You are not worthy

Haiku #935

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:05:41 GMT

sometimes i write poems
they are the best
yes

Haiku #934

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:48:47 GMT

my daddy gave me
what I never had in my life
my only father

Haiku #932

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:47:17 GMT

meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow feed me

Haiku #931

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:45:53 GMT

mother has given
what the Lord has provided
her undying love

Haiku #930

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:44:43 GMT

the cat lays dreaming
curled up sleeping on the floor
a furry door stop

Haiku #929

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:56:33 GMT

I don't like Haikus
or is the plural Haiki?
five syllables here?

Haiku #928

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:47:07 GMT

too tired to eat
but i'm too hungry to sleep
story of my life

Haiku #927

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 21:13:44 GMT

Nickel and Dimed now-
We are back to nonfiction.
Shakespeare will be missed.

Haiku #926

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:47:49 GMT

Alas, O Hamlet
Thou art today finishéd
So, what do we now?

Haiku #925

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:18:44 GMT

It was a long day.
Wife, kids, boss, I'm so tired.
Will I ever smile?

Haiku #924

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 07:53:08 GMT

my home for ten years
bank got it in foreclosure
moving day is here

Haiku #923

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:37:48 GMT

Self-written life's tale
Autobiographical
What is your story?

Haiku #922

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:34:19 GMT

Once upon a time,
There was a life lesson learned,
and that is the end.

Haiku #921

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:33:02 GMT

We hate middlemen.
Disintermediation-
straight to consumers.

Haiku #920

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:55:05 GMT

Double-feature: watch
Both Human Centipedes, end
To end. So to speak.

Haiku #919

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:18:39 GMT

Tomorrow it is
Now, let us study away
Procrastination

Haiku #918

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:10:46 GMT

Just Say Madison
'Twas your birthday on 10/6
Happy birthday bud

Haiku #917

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:29:32 GMT

Hello Madison,
Why dost thou speak this trash talk?
Hey, fuck you Gumby.

Haiku #916

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 22:29:51 GMT

Would Hamlet go H.A.M.
If he hath a test Monday?
"Resolved, that shit cray."

Haiku #915

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:54:08 GMT

McRib is a fraud
can't be a rib without bone
I'm thinking Arbys

Haiku #914

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:47:29 GMT

Ferg I can't study
My Hamlet book is ruined
too much McRib sauce

Haiku #913

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:42:01 GMT

O T-Ferguson
hast we an english test?
sent from my iPad

Haiku #912

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:40:08 GMT

T'was the night 'fore test
Has anybody studied?
Cougs party, not read

Haiku #911

Thu, 03 Nov 2011 14:42:46 GMT

It hurts. It hurts. Wow.
The dentist lied to me. Jerk.
I sip through a straw

Haiku #910

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:05:44 GMT

Orange Keystolope;
As you frolic in the woods
I pull my shotgun

Haiku #909

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:46:15 GMT

I thank you Big Grace
For the banana bread, yum
-Brooklyn Boy, Pauly

Haiku #908

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 22:27:42 GMT

Ode to keystolope
How you evaded my grasp
Until now sweet stone

Haiku #906

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 05:56:47 GMT

Death took her away
Mother of Schauna and Daun
Two years gone today

Haiku #905

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 01:25:45 GMT

My haikus are sweet.
Like Skittles and Baby Ruth.
Oh, to be like me.

Haiku #904

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 01:16:55 GMT

Hello, I'm a winner.
Nice to meet you, just kidding.
I don't care too much.

Haiku #903

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:55:54 GMT

So Footballs your game
In the real world tis not game
I'm smarter than you

Haiku #901

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:28:09 GMT

If you want to win.
Transfer to Madison High.
Is losing that bad?

Haiku #900

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:25:54 GMT

Football is my game.
But it is not yours, too bad.
Try knitting sweaters.

Haiku #899

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:23:18 GMT

Fifty to Eight, ouch.
The pain you feel is real.
Which is why it hurts.

Haiku #898

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 11:01:33 GMT

It's Friday, Friday;
Gotta get down on Friday.
See you at the slab.

Haiku #897

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:34:30 GMT

Today there's no Ferg
because we don't have English
It is a sad day.

Haiku #895

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:32:57 GMT

Simmer down there, bud.
We are just having some fun
posting on this site.

Haiku #896

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:32:57 GMT

Simmer down there, bud.
We are just having some fun
posting on this site.

Haiku #894

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:40:33 GMT

To be, or not to
be? That isn't the question.
Why am I so great?

Haiku #893

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:33:02 GMT

My two favorite things.
The New York Jets Football Team
And my dog Booger.

Haiku #892

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:29:43 GMT

aight jimmyjam
whatever you say
no, this is not a haiku.

Haiku #891

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:27:29 GMT

When I think of you
Reading Hamlet, I feel bad
For Mister Shakespeare.

Haiku #890

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:18:57 GMT

Words, Words, Wouourdsss
Last line had five syllables
Crazy like HAMlet

Haiku #889

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:18:53 GMT

I finished HAMlet;
Ay, to be or not to be,
that is the question.

Haiku #888

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:11:32 GMT

i like one word lines
having enough syllables
refrigerator

Haiku #887

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:09:53 GMT

I heard HAMlet speak
His rage sharp like a dagger
What's a fishmonger?

Haiku #886

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:56:55 GMT

that last one sent twice
well, now you can enjoy it
twice as many times

Haiku #884

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:53:22 GMT

[blank] in the moonlight
it is all "in the moonlight"
every single thing.

Haiku #885

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:53:22 GMT

[blank] in the moonlight
it is all "in the moonlight"
every single thing.

Haiku #883

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:51:49 GMT

the highwayman comes
on a stupidly stupid
stupid stupid horse

Haiku #882

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:49:51 GMT

which category
will i put this haiku in?
miscellaneous

Haiku #881

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:47:48 GMT

Need I break the bank,
For the McRibbly goodness?
No, but I break wind.

Haiku #880

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:39:19 GMT

who is JimmyJam?
why is he hatin on us?
ranch, howl has no "e"

Haiku #878

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:38:13 GMT

Shout out to Chatham.
You should have a spelling team
Instead of football.

Haiku #877

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:35:27 GMT

I'm hungry for you.
But you can't hear me talking.
Bleach will stain your clothes.

Haiku #876

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:30:16 GMT

Let's get along friends.
Play nice and happy and good.
Justin Bieber rocks.

Haiku #875

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:28:14 GMT

Listen up suckaz
Learn to haiku from the champ
I am so awesome

Haiku #874

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:33:18 GMT

Haiku is an art.
Your lines come straight from the heart.
Hey, did someone fart?

Haiku #873

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:29:06 GMT

Those uploads I said
Would be made to this website.
Look now, I was right.

Haiku #872

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:26:46 GMT

These new members here
Learn also the nuances
Of English language.

Haiku #871

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:24:59 GMT

Here is the website
That I talked about in class.
Write some haikus, peeps.

Haiku #870

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:55:14 GMT

Why do I haiku?
Why doth the cold wind howel?
For extra credit.

Haiku #868

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:51:00 GMT

University
Application deadline soon
...I need some Popeyes

Haiku #866

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:09:24 GMT

Stupid Stupid Dumb
Stupidly Dumb Stupid Horse
What the heck was that?

Haiku #865

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:55:29 GMT

I love Colin Brown
He is not Colin Rigby
Ah, the good old days

Haiku #861

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:37:25 GMT

O, Kenneth Branagh
Speak to him, Horatio!
Man, Myth, or Legend?

Haiku #860

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:57:07 GMT

Your mom likes McRibs;
Or is it your grandmother?
I need a napkin.

Haiku #859

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:36:55 GMT

Hidden in large bun
Lost in a great sea of sauce
I found a pickle

Haiku #857

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:35:54 GMT

Mysterious Meat
More than spare and less than rib
comes from kangaroo?

Haiku #853

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:36:32 GMT

The younger sister
wrote that last one. Was it good?
Good for sixth grade huh?

Haiku #852

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:34:13 GMT

The fire burns high up
You see yourself in the fire
Why can't you just burn

Haiku #851

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:28:09 GMT

Come back here and read.
Read my witty poems and smile.
Taylor Gang or die!

Haiku #850

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:24:36 GMT

I mentioned this site,
In my english class today.
Expect more uploads.

Haiku #849

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:24:06 GMT

Jelly Beans are happy.
Sour Patch Worms are yucky.
Why am I so fat?

Haiku #848

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:13:16 GMT

I saw your beauty
Lips so soft skin so bright
Inside not so much

Haiku #847

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:05:01 GMT

Every word you speak
Lying hole of a donkey
Truth does not reside

Haiku #846

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:57:24 GMT

I'm no good for you
Is what he once said to me
Should have believed him

Haiku #845

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:23:13 GMT

He said he loved me.
But I knew he was lying.
Sand will clog engines.

Haiku #844

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 14:25:10 GMT

darkness dwells within
hides me in its black cover
i long for my death

Haiku #843

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:14:08 GMT

The sun is happy.
The moon is happier still.
The clouds seem cocky.

Haiku #842

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:39:59 GMT

CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, SUCK!

Haiku #841

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:22:12 GMT

Sunday is over.
Monday is coming too soon.
Why am I so short?

Haiku #840

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 06:57:30 GMT

Sitting on the bowl
Writing this one for you
It's stinking hard work

Haiku #839

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:13:49 GMT

I AM SO AWESOME
REALLY, I AM SO AWESOME
SO WHY AM I ALL ALONE?

Haiku #838

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 23:19:02 GMT

Cats are like people.
Conniving, selfish, sneaky.
Think I need new friends?

Haiku #837

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:50:46 GMT

I love to eat cake.
I love to eat pudding too.
Green vegetables suck.

Haiku #836

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:48:34 GMT

Left him by the road.
He's gone, but his smell lingers.
I love you Clorox.

Haiku #834

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:48:31 GMT

Left him by the road.
He's gone, but his smell lingers.
I love you Clorox.

Haiku #835

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:48:31 GMT

Left him by the road.
He's gone, but his smell lingers.
I love you Clorox.

Haiku #833

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:12:50 GMT

What would happen if
hippos flew from my butt crack?
Would I feel relief?

Haiku #832

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:36:10 GMT

The shower is hot.
The towel is soft and comfy.
Buicks are crap cars.

Haiku #831

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:08:14 GMT

Brush my hair in front
of the mirror and my wife
says "You still look bald."

Haiku #830

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 23:17:00 GMT

The doctor said "cough",
as he held my sack snugly
in his hand. Oh my.

Haiku #829

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 15:54:03 GMT

silent river streams
flowing gently through our mouths
dysentary hurts

Haiku #827

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 15:05:17 GMT

I drank all night long.
My head hurts, now I am sick.
Damn you Jack Daniels.

Haiku #826

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 01:13:11 GMT

Here my kitty cat.
Please don't poop in my fireplace.
Burnt doody smells bad.

Haiku #825

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 20:57:24 GMT

Velociraptor.
Wacking it to dino porn.
My mothersaurus.

Haiku #824

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 20:54:31 GMT

Anticipation.
My boss just left the office.
Now I can go poo.

Haiku #823

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 20:50:10 GMT

You apparently
Actually read all these.
Loyd's warmest welcome.

Haiku #822

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 17:49:03 GMT

¡oh! encantado
Gael García Bernal
I can't roll my Rs

Haiku #821

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 17:05:23 GMT

Haiku has come back?
Glad it's back up and running.
Here is one I wrote!

Haiku #820

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 17:10:40 GMT

You want me happy?
Yet no reciprocation?
Try cunnilingus.

Haiku #819

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 00:11:27 GMT

Alarm set for 9.
Rise and grind. Neighborhood run.
I can't tie my shoes.

Haiku #818

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:56:07 GMT

It's like a yardsale
Love looks great from the outside
All shit you don't want.

Haiku #817

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:41:23 GMT

Some dingleberries
Don't fall far from the toot-tree.
Use baby wet-wipes.

Haiku #816

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:37:33 GMT

Labia lusting,
Part the beef curtain thrusting.
Oops the condom broke.

Haiku #815

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 07:46:01 GMT

a kiss can say all
when there is nothing to tell
pucker up baby

Haiku #814

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:32:20 GMT

even superman,
could not save the entire world,
he was still human.

Haiku #812

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:31:38 GMT

rain against our panes
mother nature's crying now
we do not notice

Haiku #811

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:23:11 GMT

I love my own touch,
As much as I love his touch,
Maybe a bit more.

Haiku #810

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:12:01 GMT

Life is a fat chick,
Denied her afternoon snack,
You may want to run.

Haiku #809

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:35:28 GMT

haiku virgin, not
its a seven five seven
yes, but the point is...

Haiku #808

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:28:47 GMT

job descriptions galore, here
so depressing, huh?
corporate lighting that is

Haiku #807

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:36:33 GMT

A haiku that ain't
three lines with five-seven-five
just ain't a haiku

Haiku #806

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:29:38 GMT

Temperatures rise.
Smelly people fill the pool.
I would rather sweat.

Haiku #805

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:29:09 GMT

The New Year inspires.
Gyms fill up with sweaty folks.
I eat a cookie.

Haiku #804

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:28:43 GMT

This cheap plastic fork
Can’t penetrate carrots.
I stab anyway.

Haiku #802

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 19:53:15 GMT

girls will let you touch
if you love them; boys will love
you if you touch them.

Haiku #801

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 19:50:59 GMT

i do not know where
all the haikuers have gone.
out for sushi, right?

Haiku #800

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:09:24 GMT

Kids should always knock
On their parents' doors at night.
Yeah. I'm just sayin.

Haiku #797

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:51:35 GMT

Doesn't anyone
"heart" haiku anymore? Is
brevity passé?

Haiku #796

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:39:43 GMT

Waterparks, a place
Where splashes and doughnuts meet
To play, stay, eat, greet

Haiku #795

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:34:36 GMT

I have all the scents,
Instinct, Shift, and Polar too,
Except for common

Haiku #794

Fri, 28 May 2010 16:44:26 GMT

When someone's life is
a joke, their death is still sad
What you talkin' 'bout?

Haiku #793

Mon, 24 May 2010 16:26:23 GMT

The Louie Awards,
Winner of Best Thank You card,
It's Bald Guy Greetings!!!

Haiku #792

Sun, 23 May 2010 17:45:59 GMT

Sitting at Starbucks
Looking out the window now
Contemplating life

Haiku #791

Sun, 23 May 2010 01:33:24 GMT

what does everyone
else do, when everyone else
is away from sleep?

Haiku #790

Sun, 23 May 2010 01:32:32 GMT

writing makes me think
which, is not totally bad...
but not good, either.

Haiku #789

Sun, 23 May 2010 01:30:14 GMT

I just hate rainbows
mostly because they're pretty
I'm jealous i guess

Haiku #788

Thu, 20 May 2010 12:29:36 GMT

I think I'll have to
eat you now for reasons we
can't discuss just yet

Haiku #787

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:11:43 GMT

writing a haiku
equals procrastinating
who needs to do work?

Haiku #786

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:10:38 GMT

it is nice outside
its a good thing im working
thank you to highschool

Haiku #785

Tue, 11 May 2010 10:30:56 GMT

What's going on here?
Should be bigger than Google.
But oddly it's not.

Haiku #784

Sun, 09 May 2010 23:46:40 GMT

Blue sun shines through green
muddy prints in white spring snow
bright wind swirls me home

Haiku #782

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:11:58 GMT

My Isabella,
the cat, sleeps on my office
desk like a dead cat

Haiku #781

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:10:36 GMT

Is Memory Foam
really all that when it comes
to buying a bed?

Haiku #780

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:59:34 GMT

My first Haiku on
IHeartHaiku, site of Pam
Thomas and Lloyd Stein

Haiku #779

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:15:01 GMT

For the thousandth time
I resolve to make no more
empty promises

Haiku #778

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:13:25 GMT

21 years with
same employer, so now can
I drink on the job?

Haiku #777

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:11:05 GMT

Intelligence is
not what you know, but how you
confront what you don't

Haiku #776

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 02:11:44 GMT

she looks just like me
only smaller and with more
possibilities

Haiku #775

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 18:01:24 GMT

Each Spring, I poison
weeds, ants, moss, mice, and wonder
why my grass won't grow

Haiku #774

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:58:28 GMT

Tests over Europe
say it should be safe to fly
OK... you go first

Haiku #773

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:07:18 GMT

Half in U.S. don't
pay taxes. Unfair! We all
should help fund bailouts!

Haiku #772

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 10:52:35 GMT

Tiger places fourth /
losing the Green Jacket and /
its golden lining

Haiku #771

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 08:22:39 GMT

nice to be back here
I've been gone for awhile
we all heart haiku

Haiku #770

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:25:19 GMT

Write your Haiku here.
Yes sir, but does Simon Say?
Au revior, I'm off.

Haiku #769

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:21:39 GMT

Rain rain go away
4 days is enough, okay?
We have no canoes.

Haiku #768

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 16:35:15 GMT

Dog asleep on foot.
Silky soft pup aslumber.
Careful not to move.

Haiku #767

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 10:32:36 GMT

Carl Sagan blows me
dandelion parachute
floating off to Mars

Haiku #765

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 02:01:46 GMT

iDid not camp out
to buy an iPad, and now
iWish that iHad

Haiku #764

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:59:41 GMT

tricycle wheel squeaks
every scar a story
"age 5 and obese"

Haiku #763

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 14:27:52 GMT

billy's big belly.
jiggles, joggles, combobles.
eating towns and kids.

Haiku #762

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 23:44:03 GMT

The pick-up truck roars.
The hybrid car is silent,
until it got smashed.

Haiku #761

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 23:41:27 GMT

I don't know what's worse.
Getting older or slower?
I think it is both.

Haiku #760

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:37:18 GMT

Donkeys are stubborn/
Just like the people I know/
I could use new friends.

Haiku #759

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:33:12 GMT

if i had a band
we would be 'crunchy in milk.'
that's just how we'd roll.

Haiku #758

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:32:06 GMT

seventy eight chicks
who are virgins is
most guys' worst nightmare

Haiku #757

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:29:59 GMT

fuck republicans
they suck so much nasty ass
they should go away

Haiku #756

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:28:40 GMT

They want me back at
I-heart-haiku.com to
help view Google ads!

Haiku #755

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:27:22 GMT

do you like the way
Tiger Woods handles his life?
if so, you're a dolt

Haiku #754

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:23:56 GMT

Obama's healthcare
Can cure whatever itches.
Let your neighbor scratch.

Haiku #753

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:21:15 GMT

I Haiku, do you?
Go to Ihearthaiku now,
Write down your thoughts, yo!

Haiku #752

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:20:01 GMT

so long, Big Star C.
lonely days are gone, you're home.
how could i forget?

Haiku #751

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:19:48 GMT

I can't imagine
Fighting so noble a cause
As health care for all

Haiku #750

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:15:33 GMT

Just got the email,
The one from Mr. Haiku,
And then I wrote this.

Haiku #749

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:15:04 GMT

I love Whole Foods Stores
Full of good food and smart folks
Worth every penny

Haiku #748

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:35:38 GMT

Why do I wear ties?
They are uncomfortable.
Let's bring back neck scarfs!

Haiku #747

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:29:31 GMT

Happiness is just
a myth started by people
of faith. I am sure.

Haiku #746

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:27:16 GMT

The doctor said "cough",
as he held my sack snugly
in his hand. Oh my.

Haiku #745

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:22:30 GMT

My dog is happy.
Probably because he's dumb.
I envy his life.

Haiku #744

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:20:01 GMT

He's bald and smells bad.
He's drunk and thinks he's so hot.
Y'know I'm not blind.

Haiku #743

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:18:03 GMT

The sun is happy.
The moon is happier still.
The clouds seem cocky.

Haiku #742

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:16:35 GMT

If my kitty talked,
what ever would he say to me.
"Kitty litter sucks!"

Haiku #741

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:14:06 GMT

Cheeseburger is good.
Hamburger is bland and dry.
Thank you Mister Cheese.

Haiku #740

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:12:52 GMT

I sit on my couch.
Attached to the TV set.
The bong smoke rises.

Haiku #739

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:10:57 GMT

Where are you now Jane?
Now that I need you the most.
I feel so alone.

Haiku #738

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:59:38 GMT

I love the way that
A calm, quiet evening
Can make a girl feel.

Haiku #737

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:27:33 GMT

Mexico now home
to the world's richest man and
the world's fastest mouse

Haiku #736

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:04:58 GMT

Same-sex marriage law
in Washington -- so now
it's ... "AC/DC" ?

Haiku #735

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:38:55 GMT

"Hurt Locker"'s wins give
me more chances to stare at
Kathryn Bigelow

Haiku #734

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:07:02 GMT

As always, Oscars
are like Hollywood movies:
Quite predictable

Haiku #733

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:09:50 GMT

hooray i did it
i'm a mastermind yes sir
time to stop playing

Haiku #732

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:07:16 GMT

i could be doing
something and/or someone else-
truth is so could you

Haiku #731

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:05:30 GMT

ever tried writing
as fast as you are able?-
try, see what happens

Haiku #730

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:01:10 GMT

find something to do
reading this will rot your brain-
computer is loud

Haiku #729

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:59:46 GMT

surfing day away
searching for a pot of gold-
oh dandelions

Haiku #728

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:57:29 GMT

bored beyond measure
looking for something to do-
oh hell no! not that!

Haiku #727

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:04:24 GMT

The sun falls behind
The shore. Night time. Dinner time.
Allah-u-abha.

Haiku #726

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:16:01 GMT

caution: risk of fire
her warning said everything
but i fell anyway

Haiku #725

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:38:36 GMT

daydreams offer me
an alternate existence
i think i'll stay here

Haiku #724

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:59:30 GMT

If your last name was
Kunstling? Wouldn't you change it
If you got married?

Haiku #722

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:39:53 GMT

In California
Thai food does not come with rice.
That's two bucks extra.

Haiku #721

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:58:31 GMT

Happy Birthday, Lloyd,
I know I'm two days early,
Hope you get good cards.

Haiku #720

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:17:22 GMT

Triple question marks
Can you call me on my cell???
It's not a good day.

Haiku #719

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:24:59 GMT

"East Bay" is the name /
Of my Home. And it's also /
Pig-Latin for "Beast"!

Haiku #718

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:29:43 GMT

god damn it sidney
you had to ruin the day
Go team USA

Haiku #717

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:50:43 GMT

happiest birthday
to my loving spouse Marvin
always my hero

Haiku #716

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:50:19 GMT

my life is richer
since Marvin entered its door
with heart full of gold

Haiku #715

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:49:57 GMT

even before our
eyes gazed at one another
inevitable

Haiku #714

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:42:15 GMT

many miles apart
meeting unexpectedly
our souls seemed to merge

Haiku #713

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:41:32 GMT

Marvin, my hero
no other could replace him
how did i find him

Haiku #712

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 14:00:53 GMT

Rain, rain, go away.
Come on back another day.
When my roof is fixed.

Haiku #711

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:13:26 GMT

seven silvery
seals encircling: "let's make
it look like an AARRT!"

Haiku #710

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:29:19 GMT

Cough, sneeze, hack, puke, yawn.
Kids are little germ magnets.
I'm going to sleep.

Haiku #709

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:22:31 GMT

Why am I so bald?
Hair everywhere, but my head.
Life can be unfair.

Haiku #708

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:20:48 GMT

I love Apolo.
Oh Ono, do you love me?
Cute little soul patch.

Haiku #707

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:09:51 GMT

When I pee it hurts.
Maybe I need to slow down.
But it feels so good.

Haiku #706

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:07:55 GMT

Dutch bobsled pussy
There is no "I" in BOBSLED.
Nice epitaph dude.

Haiku #705

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:23:51 GMT

Dutch bobsledder quits
choosing not to risk his life
for a medallion

Haiku #704

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:22:30 GMT

Im no standard cop
I play by rules, hot dog rules
catch up some time, son.

Haiku #703

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:38:11 GMT

Once more Dick Cheney
shakes off something that would kill
someone with a heart

Haiku #702

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:21:46 GMT

Leaping branch to branch
Cleverly she curls around
to feast on bird food.

Haiku #701

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:16:11 GMT

A Bluetit flutters
blending into chalky sky
Fly past dreamy clouds.

Haiku #700

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:15:26 GMT

Please let me see you
It gives me such great pleasure
To fill your tummy!

Haiku #699

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:14:33 GMT

A raven perches
Great in size as through dusk dark
I see bright eyes shine.

Haiku #698

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:13:53 GMT

silhouette trees stand
on the canvas of sky blue
And dry-brushed white clouds

Haiku #697

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:11:54 GMT

Now plant your haiku
Let the seedling grow and grow
Branch out and grow leaves.

Haiku #696

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:11:12 GMT

Her eyes firmly shut
Wand curled on nose sleepily
The silver cat sleeps.

Haiku #695

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:09:57 GMT

Water coloured sky
And fluffy cotton wool snow
It's like I'm dreaming.

Haiku #694

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:33:24 GMT

I fell in the bath.
Porcelain on bone equals pain.
Oh why? Oh why? Ouch.

Haiku #693

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:04:50 GMT

Thanks to Lindsey Vonn
my thoughts of female skiers
all just go downhill

Haiku #692

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:18:33 GMT

The shower is hot.
The towel is soft and comfy.
Buicks are crap cars.

Haiku #691

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:40:09 GMT

Mondays are the worst.
Wednesday is a bit better.
Friday brings me joy.

Haiku #690

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:07:49 GMT

Figure Skating rocks.
Just like NASCAR I wait for
them to crash and fall.

Haiku #689

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 23:05:32 GMT

He keeps calling me.
Doesn't he know we are wrong.
He makes my skin crawl.

Haiku #688

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 23:03:17 GMT

Here my kitty cat.
Please don't poop in my fireplace.
Burnt doody smells bad.

Haiku #687

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:58:42 GMT

Stuck in traffic solo,
Her voice on the radio
I tug it, because...

Haiku #686

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:46:27 GMT

good love needs conflict
to ignite passion or else
embers soon languish

Haiku #685

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:45:37 GMT

sweet lips softly meet
transporting us far away
magical moment

Haiku #684

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 01:19:40 GMT

you smell like popcorn
smeared with strawberry bonne
bell lipsmacker smudge

Haiku #683

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:39:24 GMT

Brush my hair in front
of the mirror and my wife
says "You still look bald."

Haiku #682

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:49:41 GMT

Yards of shoveled snow,
clean driveways - piano keys
after the concert

Haiku #681

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:42:58 GMT

I strip and men watch.
To watch they must pay me cash.
The cash buys freedom.

Haiku #680

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:40:58 GMT

My wife wakes and screams.
My kids jump on me early.
I just want to sleep.

Haiku #679

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:38:41 GMT

beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.
fall down, get up, puke, burp, fart.
happy, sad, asleep.

Haiku #678

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:50:47 GMT

China has Year of
the Tiger; Tiger Woods has
Day of Reckoning

Haiku #677

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:05:18 GMT

Curling is a sport.
Full of strategy and thick
legged women, wow!

Haiku #676

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:12:02 GMT

Winter Olympics
Is curling really a sport?
One's pregnant with broom.

Haiku #675

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:05:31 GMT

A sad, tragic death
can't change the fact that "luger"
is a funny word

Haiku #674

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:58:25 GMT

A chocolate heart says
I have embraced my lack of
imagination

Haiku #673

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:53:57 GMT

Snow blankets Dallas
Rain soaks Vancouver; Winter
needs a GPS

Haiku #672

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:49:34 GMT

hatch popped suddenly
starting up after green light
oh no, flying dog

Haiku #671

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 12:19:20 GMT

I do love my girl,
But when it comes down to it,
Ihearthaiku, man.

Haiku #670

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:26:18 GMT

thoughts drift so lazy
like surf slowly rolls landward
ideas emerge

Haiku #669

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:25:34 GMT

sleep overcomes me
if I stop moving at all
energy deprived

Haiku #668

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:33:19 GMT

my son won't kiss me
all I get is a head butt
middle school blows chow

Haiku #667

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:17:10 GMT

The Bald Guy is scared,
Trixie's haiku close to first,
Please vote for the bald.

Haiku #666

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 13:33:51 GMT

Shoveling snow seems
easier when it's to help
kids build an igloo

Haiku #664

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:16:41 GMT

expired salsa
equals vomit all night long
puke. sleep. puke. sleep. sigh.

Haiku #662

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:10:01 GMT

i heart haiku guy
i got your email today
I'd like a t-shirt

Haiku #661

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:09:12 GMT

amazon.com
barnes and noble too
b dalton as well

Haiku #660

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:08:09 GMT

beware defriending
you are one comment away
Pat Carella waits.

Haiku #659

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:05:29 GMT

it sounds just like rain
but it's really the sound of
the snow as it melts

Haiku #658

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:03:14 GMT

I anticipate
the weekend to come will be
longer than normal

Haiku #657

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:13:02 GMT

It's just been too long,
Since I've written a Haiku,
I miss it so much.

Haiku #656

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:33:00 GMT

19 little kids
different in their own ways
make my every day

Haiku #655

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:25:48 GMT

Is that my momma,
ingesting that kielbasa?
Is that my daddy?

Haiku #654

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:47:18 GMT

Roller-skating time
Party in Denver March 12th
Bus ride in Costume

Haiku #653

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 10:23:35 GMT

No T.V. at home
When I get near one I get
Stuck in front of it

Haiku #652

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 10:16:43 GMT

desiree rumbaugh
in pueblo colorado
stimulates greatness

Haiku #651

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 00:47:51 GMT

turquoise orchids drape
me with softest cozy warmth
my new pashmina

Haiku #650

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:11:28 GMT

Girls don't burp or fart
Hell, they barely even sneeze
How do they do that?

Haiku #649

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:49:30 GMT

mysterious signs
make me wonder about mine
leading you nowhere

Haiku #648

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:00:54 GMT

looking all around
praying that I won't see you
hoping that I do

Haiku #647

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:55:33 GMT

The pen was ready,
the clock was ticking faster,
the paper was blank.

Haiku #646

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:27:00 GMT

Ten Best Picture noms /
That's Hollywood's box office /
stimulus package

Haiku #645

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:25:18 GMT

Mediocrity
is the destiny of all
reasonable men

Haiku #644

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:14:00 GMT

This is my life's goal:
To die in my seventies
with the house paid off

Haiku #643

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:12:04 GMT

The peaks of my life
stand out as odd, rare moments
when I don't feel bad

Haiku #641

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:34:15 GMT

pushing envelopes
addressing them with your name
good thing they're not stamped

Haiku #640

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:24:59 GMT

THE WORLD'S END IS NEAR!
Well... no one knows for sure, but
It's fun to say that.

Haiku #639

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:41:16 GMT

Freakishly large head
I'd be so bored without you
You make me better

Haiku #638

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:44:42 GMT

life's decisions need
moments of imposing thought
much prefer playtime

Haiku #637

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:45:56 GMT

clear bright winter day
strolling ocean side, glistening
waves reflect sunshine

Haiku #636

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:37:02 GMT

my mind is empty
words for haiku escape me
nothing to be said

Haiku #635

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:05:21 GMT

Nation of lemmings.
So easy to give up dreams.
Obama voters.

Haiku #634

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:19:54 GMT

finally Barack
kicked some GOP butt, please
do this all the time

Haiku #633

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:18:47 GMT

New Orleans Saints! Damn.
I put alll my money on
That goddam Brett Favre.

Haiku #632

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:16:53 GMT

Crust from the jelly
Should never be ingested
Now I want to barf

Haiku #631

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:11:46 GMT

its snowing outside
its wasted on a weekend
better for weekdays

Haiku #630

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:20:39 GMT

silvery full moon
illuminates inky sky
madmen rule the night

Haiku #629

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:43:59 GMT

So infrequent now
I forget what to do which
makes it interesting

Haiku #628

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:28:54 GMT

For some perspective,
complain about your job to
a Third World farmer

Haiku #626

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:12:24 GMT

No matter how much
you make, spend, save, give or take
it's never enough

Haiku #625

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:30:24 GMT

Go to the movies
Eat popcorn and candy bars
Leave with sticky feet

Haiku #624

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:54:24 GMT

It's so friggin cold
the snot in your nose and the
tears in your eyes freeze

Haiku #622

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:35:08 GMT

Here's my opinion:
Obama is a phony.
He just wants control.

Haiku #621

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:26:54 GMT

Anti Obama?
That doesn't even make sense.
McCain? Palin? Whaaaaaaaaaat?

Haiku #620

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:16:11 GMT

It's fascinating
To see that all haiku-ers
Support Obama.

Haiku #619

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:11:04 GMT

Haiku 600,
The most hated of them all,
Wow. Five thumbs down votes!

Haiku #618

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:42:31 GMT

All Haikus are dumb.
Except of course for all mine.
I am such a prick.

Haiku #617

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:37:51 GMT

Please wake up at seven
Five thirty is too early
Get back in your bed

Haiku #616

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 20:10:20 GMT

In Andrews, Texas
The snow blows in from the north-
A rush to the schools

Haiku #615

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 20:09:59 GMT

Dripping not raining
The plink, plank, plunk on a can
Making me goofy

Haiku #614

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 20:09:37 GMT

Drove into storm core
Wind, flood, hail, lightning, the works-
Not fun this early!

Haiku #613

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:05:41 GMT

two street musicians
seven subway musicians
nine ramen noodles

Haiku #612

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:01:35 GMT

numbing noggin ache
what will appease you today?
too many options

Haiku #611

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:59:08 GMT

los angeles sun
you are bright but still chilly
just make up your mind

Haiku #610

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:03:46 GMT

J.D. Salinger
lives now only through his words
as he chose to live

Haiku #609

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:12:16 GMT

sitting in the color
listening to fleetwood mac
it's a charmed life.

Haiku #608

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 05:04:00 GMT

I'm new to this site.
How many folks are on here?
Click the "Like" button.

Haiku #607

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:55:20 GMT

Shouts. Angry words. Fists.
Living with rugby players
Is like the UN.

Haiku #606

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:51:43 GMT

Look at how many
Dating sites are on the net.
The world is lonely.

Haiku #605

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:38:12 GMT

Doing homework used
To be my favorite thing.
Then college happened.

Haiku #604

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:57:58 GMT

I hope this website
Becomes bigger than Google.
The world needs haiku.

Haiku #603

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:46:27 GMT

The ground beneath me
Is my stage. I perform plays
Wherever I go.

Haiku #602

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:33:38 GMT

Music is just the
Sound mathematics makes when
You give numbers sounds

Haiku #601

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:31:46 GMT

Let me get this straight:
U.N. looks into Gaza
"atrocities"? Shame.

Haiku #600

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:30:12 GMT

State of the Union
I'll summarize in three words:
F**ked beyond belief.

Haiku #599

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:09:27 GMT

Steve Jobs, frail and gaunt,
holds up his shiny new toy
Don't count him out yet

Haiku #598

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:06:30 GMT

Oversized iPod
What possible use it is?
Just you wait and see

Haiku #597

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:39:38 GMT

The mind wants to
But the heart lingers behind-
Since the funeral

Haiku #596

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:06:52 GMT

They live in cities
Never go outdoors, hiking-
Environmentalists

Haiku #595

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:04:08 GMT

We found Atlantis
And much to our amazement
They eat tomatoes!

Haiku #594

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 01:46:29 GMT

fingers and toes burn
so painful to grasp, to touch
neuropathy sucks

Haiku #593

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:42:39 GMT

poem generator
why can't you let me go sleep?
you are too much fun

Haiku #592

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:40:41 GMT

elena had uggs
i borrowed the furry friends
confiscation, yes

Haiku #591

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:38:31 GMT

fresh squeezed orange juice
all pulpy, in a tall glass
my day waits for you

Haiku #590

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:35:34 GMT

money won't buy love
but it will buy a camera
and i would love that

Haiku #589

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:34:46 GMT

i love you skittles
chewy, fruity candy coat
pay my dental bill

Haiku #588

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:33:52 GMT

february looms
manufactured romance wins
only for the day

Haiku #587

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:32:37 GMT

hippopotamus
skin of slime, ears like nuggets
i am not dinner

Haiku #586

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 23:45:40 GMT

oh, new bachelor jake.
why so dramatic tonight?
a burnt rose is waste.

Haiku #585

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:26:22 GMT

If you write a poem,
that Mr. Haiku no like,
Stop writing Haiku.

Haiku #584

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:40:39 GMT

You are my best friend,
You are so smart and witty,
You are just a phone.

Haiku #583

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:32:05 GMT

A cold Winter morn,
Dew drops glisten on the grass,
I don't talk like that.

Haiku #582

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:46:28 GMT

brisk morning air needs
steaming cup of java, strong
insulating warmth

Haiku #581

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:53:41 GMT

My son is like me
how can I expect him to
avoid my mistakes

Haiku #580

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:47:06 GMT

January rain
soaks Christmas decorations
not yet taken down

Haiku #579

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:02:50 GMT

I hear my boy play
his hands on adjacent notes
one day strong octaves

Haiku #578

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:28:34 GMT

smooth peanut butter
peanut brittle, peanut love
delta understands

Haiku #577

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:26:29 GMT

4:30 I'm told
but it's so uncivilized
need to sleep later

Haiku #576

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:26:24 GMT

Rain, rain stay away
Leave our Balloons alone please
And our driving shots

Haiku #575

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:25:04 GMT

jason is counting
five, seven, five..wait, no, yes
need more fingers, stat

Haiku #574

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:24:16 GMT

Haley writes a lot
She is a haiku machine
snicker this fulop

Haiku #573

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:23:08 GMT

pat looks menacing
like brad garret sans soda
it's part of his charm

Haiku #572

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:20:47 GMT

Haley next to me
Writing about me, oh no
Sure it will be nice

Haiku #571

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:19:43 GMT

jason way snickers solo
I'm keeping a watchful eye.
the snickers go on.

Haiku #570

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:15:36 GMT

tomorrow is Luke
and thursday we shoot amy
beware the peanuts

Haiku #569

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:13:23 GMT

oh, hell belly, why?
oh why will nothing tame you?
lets try tums again.

Haiku #568

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:11:47 GMT

El hombre come
come arroz y leche
y pan...y agua

Haiku #567

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:59:48 GMT

oh cereal aisle
when all other food fails me
you're in my corner

Haiku #566

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:57:03 GMT

temecula rains.
but not on tuesday.
or so i've been told.

Haiku #565

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:51:41 GMT

a new pacifist
the hippo is a lover
a fighter no more

Haiku #564

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:50:00 GMT

i still like jam pots
strawberry is magical
blueberry is not

Haiku #563

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:58:57 GMT

So it's Colts and Saints.
Will Archie be rooting for
His team or his son?

Haiku #562

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:55:07 GMT

"OK...for a Monday."
Are you gonna be grumpy
1/7th of Life?

Haiku #561

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 12:25:29 GMT

so much rain today
grey skies color mondays blue
haikus keep me dry

Haiku #560

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 02:58:27 GMT

from cancer's hateful
purpose can spring surprising
moments of beauty

Haiku #559

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:57:01 GMT

Esteemed Dr. Chu:
It's not that I don't get it,
It's that I don't care.

Haiku #558

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:20:10 GMT

I am six feet tall
Having this view of the earth
Beats the one under

Haiku #557

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:47:35 GMT

Come on lets go Jets
who really likes the Colts
uh oh 3rd quarter

Haiku #556

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:10:50 GMT

I wish I had more
to give to Hatian relief
and that relieves me

Haiku #555

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:07:13 GMT

I may not love you
forever, but I'll try to
for 50 more years

Haiku #554

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:01:24 GMT

I've convinced myself
each small ache means a tumor
or a heart attack

Haiku #553

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 02:44:35 GMT

musical pauses
between melody's sweet notes
meaningful silence

Haiku #552

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 02:42:46 GMT

repeating patterns
sound of rhythms spur my feet
improvisation

Haiku #551

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 01:43:06 GMT

Listen to C Sharp
One half step from middle C
But they're night and day.

Haiku #550

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:04:43 GMT

White notes, vanilla
Black notes, chocolate with espresso
Exquisite combo

Haiku #549

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:03:02 GMT

It's almost Sunday
NFL Championship week
Pass the beer and nuts

Haiku #548

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:01:55 GMT

The most peaceful sound
My kids sleeping in my bed
Breathing in and out

Haiku #547

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:15:38 GMT

promise that if you
spontaneously combust
you will warn me first

Haiku #546

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:00:01 GMT

Ah, sir hangover.
Yes, you are on the guest list.
Please come right this way.

Haiku #545

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 13:27:10 GMT

sometimes I think I
am going to scream but I
think I don't know AHHHHHHHHHH!

Haiku #544

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 11:24:50 GMT

In the meeting room
we sit with laptop lids up
like defensive walls

Haiku #542

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 23:01:01 GMT

Music's power is
its universality.
Abstraction of soul

Haiku #541

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:49:38 GMT

"Thank G-d it's Friday!"
Be careful what you wish for
Weekends are lonely.

Haiku #539

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 17:42:35 GMT

After long, dull years,
desire for you can still
shock me with its strength

Haiku #538

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 17:36:50 GMT

A colleauge just died
and the worst part is that I
lost count years ago

Haiku #537

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:42:36 GMT

I dont like the rain
when I make the drive out west
I just want the sun

Haiku #536

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:33:08 GMT

Yoo-hoo Ms. Von Fate,
We're anxiously awaiting
Your cheeky haikus.

Haiku #535

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:49:23 GMT

Do unto others
As you would have them do you.
Whoops, Freudian slip.

Haiku #534

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:21:10 GMT

It's Minnesota.
Haven't left the house today,
frozen to the stairs.

Haiku #533

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:18:10 GMT

I was gonna write
Something profound, except for
Procrastination.

Haiku #532

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:37:36 GMT

Ambien just kicked in
I'm now a hungry zombie
Where's the ice cream tub?

Haiku #531

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:45:44 GMT

What do you say when
Your children ask for candy
At 10:45?

Haiku #530

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:43:26 GMT

The only thing worse
Than seeing incompetence:
Picking up the slack.

Haiku #529

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:50:49 GMT

My brain tells my legs
To jump higher than they can.
This aging thing sucks.

Haiku #528

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:53:05 GMT

Despite maintenance
it's obvious my body's
warranty is up

Haiku #527

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:45:48 GMT

Mostly all I do
is redistribute money
from Peter to Paul

Haiku #526

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:35:57 GMT

This is my one prayer:
God, don't make me die until
my kids don't need me

Haiku #525

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:34:12 GMT

A kiss is a word
of tenderness I have no
other way to speak

Haiku #524

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:30:21 GMT

Blue M.-A. picks Brown
as 41st G.O.P
R.I.P. health care

Haiku #523

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:00:37 GMT

My daily routine
Now seems to require a drink
at IHEARTHAIKU

Haiku #522

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:26:28 GMT

Should've known better
Than to play rubgy naked
Neosporin bath.

Haiku #521

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:21:36 GMT

Alarm clock goes off
There's no sound that's more jarring
Except her snoring.

Haiku #520

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 10:32:05 GMT

Health care reform? Dead
Democratic party? Dead
If you get sick? _____

Haiku #519

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:37:02 GMT

I'm done for the night
thanks to all for the jollies
tomorrow's more smack

Haiku #518

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:34:51 GMT

I wear a brassiere.
I admit that I stuff it.
False advertising.

Haiku #517

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:34:28 GMT

Haikujew, I just
explained the smackdown to you
By the way, my friend.

Haiku #516

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:33:13 GMT

Beanbag chairs are fun.
Styrofoam balls will spill out
If you squeeze enough.

Haiku #515

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:30:17 GMT

my interest is piqued
what is a haiku smashdown?
i'd like to partake

Haiku #514

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:25:57 GMT

Braless or bra-ful
Which way do you swing, Von Fate?
I'm curious to know.

Haiku #513

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:21:51 GMT

Ok, asiegal,
Enough with the panties...uh...
Lets talk about bras.

Haiku #512

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:16:30 GMT

Von Fate pantiless?
That's starting to turn me on.
Was that sexist too?

Haiku #511

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:42:34 GMT

I don't wear panties.
what doesn't exist can't bunch.
Boy, was that sexist.

Haiku #510

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 19:40:49 GMT

If we can't make peace
Then Haiku Smackdown shall be
Godspeed to you both.

Haiku #509

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 18:53:19 GMT

I hate to see fights
Can't we all just get along?
Although, this is fun.

Haiku #508

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 18:22:35 GMT

Ooh, I smell smackdown,
And my mouth is watering.
Where my popcorn at?

Haiku #506

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:05:28 GMT

Writing six haikus
To show someone is a douche
Not a waste of time?

Haiku #505

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:04:05 GMT

Obviously satire
Is sometimes lost on people
Who just don't get it.

Haiku #504

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:03:40 GMT

I think it's funny
How people get their panties
Bent way out of shape.

Haiku #503

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:32:03 GMT

Yes, they do say that.
It has also been said that
asiegal's a boob.

Haiku #502

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:29:49 GMT

They also say that
Life is like a box of shit
Feels good, but smells bad.

Haiku #501

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:28:03 GMT

It's like they all say
Awesome is as awesome does.
And some just doesn't.

Haiku #500

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:25:01 GMT

If I sit all day,
Masturbating with haiku,
Will I turn awesome?

Haiku #499

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:21:44 GMT

Wish I had a brain.
A brain instead of a beard
I'd get more ass, dude.

Haiku #498

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:19:05 GMT

Starting my story,
"This one time at douchebag school"....
Oh sorry, that's you.

Haiku #497

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:10:00 GMT

Americanized Haiku
Bastardizing the true art
with your ignorance.

Haiku #496

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:07:54 GMT

Pot calls kettle black.
Remember this: CHOCOLATE
Has three syllables.

Haiku #495

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:51:59 GMT

Not a thing can stop
The syllable gestapo
Guess what?This line's got six.

Haiku #494

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:36:44 GMT

Contemplating bangs.
Like Zooey Deschanel has.
Need drinks and scissors.

Haiku #493

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:27:09 GMT

Yo Massachusetts
Now you've really fucked things up
double you tee eff?

Haiku #492

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:04:16 GMT

if coffeeshop plays
Rush and no one is amused
do they make a sound?

Haiku #491

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:59:55 GMT

i love wordswithfriends
i think i am addicted
don't call it scrabble

Haiku #490

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:52:18 GMT

Hey Massachusetts
You voted in Scott Brown?
So fucking stupid

Haiku #489

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:00:40 GMT

Today is Hump Day
So why am I not humping?
Hate those misnomers.

Haiku #488

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:35:36 GMT

Just standing in line,
Waiting to utter, "Hello."
I'm in the Hi-queue.

Haiku #487

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:32:53 GMT

I sit down at the
Piano. Black, white ivory.
Music creation.

Haiku #486

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:24:59 GMT

Critiquing your work...
I hate to tell you this, but...
just paint over it.

Haiku #485

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:07:42 GMT

I'm feeling better
Getting the hang of this now
hmm...uh...well...uh....whoops!

Haiku #484

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:59:53 GMT

This is my first hai-
ku and I know that I am
Messing up big time

Haiku #483

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:15:47 GMT

despite the fact that
something is bound to happen
i am still restless

Haiku #482

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:47:48 GMT

workin on coal mines,
according to bill withers,
everybody's black

Haiku #481

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:45:56 GMT

did i make a sound
falling in the black forest?
been meaning to ask

Haiku #480

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:34:03 GMT

bring on the bake sale
butterscotch, banana cream
haiti needs your help

Haiku #479

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:59:13 GMT

vitamins coffee
eight cups of water a day
also no corned beef

Haiku #478

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 01:08:44 GMT

Chill out asiegal,
I think you just said my name,
Without realizing

Haiku #477

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 01:04:13 GMT

Super cali fra
gil istic expi ali
docious. (Pant, pant, pant.)

Haiku #476

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:01:21 GMT

late for another
my attention divided
to plea or not to

Haiku #475

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:00:59 GMT

big purple jacket
shiny southern sale item
her power stays here

Haiku #474

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:57:53 GMT

as far as i know
that abbreviation's mine
but you can use it

Haiku #473

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:57:27 GMT

southern heat, sticky
open collar, lowered tie
still unbearable

Haiku #472

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:56:26 GMT

Motion to withdraw
guilty plea not looking good
we just want mercy

Haiku #471

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:55:55 GMT

Cherokee county
really? He's charged with Racing?
where's the other car?

Haiku #470

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:55:29 GMT

judicial white noise
last nights tv and weather
always the same noise

Haiku #469

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:54:59 GMT

shuffle in take seats
breathe the air and stare ahead
nervous check your phone

Haiku #468

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:54:05 GMT

air conditioned hum
delinquent allegations
nervous juveniles

Haiku #467

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:53:14 GMT

i can't go to jail
car wreck dead familiy beer
i don't even drink

Haiku #466

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:25:24 GMT

I think I am finally
starting to understand how this site works
You try to be as clever as possible using only three lines

Haiku #465

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:18:55 GMT

she counts on such small
stubby hands and I love them
two plus three are six

Haiku #464

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:28:46 GMT

supercilious
dancing mango fandango
you think you're so fresh

Haiku #463

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:29:56 GMT

Here's a bad idea,
An ad for Martin Luther,
It's..."Got MLK?"

Haiku #462

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:29:47 GMT

twenty-ten: goodbye
cable, cabs, cheese, cash. hello
recessionista.

Haiku #461

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:17:13 GMT

Stayed up too late,
Finished off chocolate pretzels
Frikkin' love handles.

Haiku #460

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:10:18 GMT

New picture up now
I hope you like it a lot
I HEART IN HAIR ROCKS!

Haiku #459

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:56:02 GMT

Haiku Detective
I see who likes and dislikes,
I update Excel.

Haiku #458

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:54:52 GMT

Haiku Enforcer
I check that you keep structure
Watch your syllables.

Haiku #457

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:04:04 GMT

I can't stand looking
At that geek-with-cat picture.
Lloyd, time for a change.

Haiku #456

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:27:31 GMT

Too much broccoli
Iced Pepto Bismol smoothie
Won't do that again.

Haiku #455

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:23:11 GMT

I ordered sushi
For the first time in my life
It was undercooked

Haiku #454

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:35:08 GMT

Pass the Tylenol
That's the last time I sample
Rum and vodka pie.

Haiku #453

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 20:55:13 GMT

Prophase Metaphase
Telophase plus Anaphase
I Really Hate Biology

Haiku #452

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 20:31:34 GMT

shoot my love's photo
pluck moment of our sweet life
keepsake forever

Haiku #451

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 19:01:28 GMT

Los Angeles peeps!
Batten down the hatches, yo.
El Niño: he's here.

Haiku #450

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 18:34:33 GMT

I'm bleeding, she says.
He drops the phone, grabs his keys,
thinks, please, not again.

Haiku #449

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 17:07:55 GMT

Please stop biting me
Or I won't do your laundry
when you turn eighteen

Haiku #448

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 14:21:25 GMT

Smoke detector beeps.
Need a nine-volt battery
But I'm warm in bed.

Haiku #447

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 13:46:04 GMT

Guess I'll clean the house.
I've been on strike for a week.
You haven't noticed.

Haiku #446

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:27:30 GMT

No, you can't play Wii.
Pick up a book for a change.
Don't ask me again.

Haiku #445

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:01:28 GMT

If I had a dime
For every time I farted,
I'd be Michael Dell.

Haiku #444

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:00:42 GMT

I love you, she said.
Then I tried to say it back.
Got stuck on the L.

Haiku #443

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 11:44:21 GMT

Bluebirds are chirping.
Shut the hell up, I'm sleeping!
Otherwise, grateful.

Haiku #442

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 09:47:27 GMT

resting anywhere
buddha in a chickadee
at one with the thorns

Haiku #441

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 04:26:28 GMT

Only had six beers.
I shouldn't be this wasted.
I should gain some weight.

Haiku #440

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 02:37:59 GMT

Out of work writer
Looking to make a movie
Starring Karen Black.

Haiku #439

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:18:50 GMT

I'll try harder,
What lovely weather today,
I just can't, okay?

Haiku #438

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:16:47 GMT

Haiku makes me rant,
I should be optimistic,
I try, but just can't.

Haiku #437

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:13:38 GMT

Adults always say,
"When I was young, blah blah blah..."
We get it... you're old.

Haiku #436

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:10:55 GMT

Sent a Christmas card
To you in North Dakota.
"Return to Sender."

Haiku #435

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:10:03 GMT

Yeah Lloyd I am back,
Took a break to smoke some crack,
Just kidding, that's wack

Haiku #434

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:08:53 GMT

Driving around town,
What has happened to this place?
People say: "You down?"

Haiku #433

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:06:12 GMT

You thought I was gone,
Bald guy recuperated,
Back from midterm break

Haiku #432

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:39:27 GMT

Dear Jason Bateman,
Put your Teen Wolf outfit on.
We're gonna do it.

Haiku #431

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:13:08 GMT

science fair weekend
panic, tears, and slamming doors
next year, dad can deal.

Haiku #430

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:06:40 GMT

fingers, mouth, and hands,
touch me, tickle me, spank me
take me all the way

Haiku #429

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 23:36:28 GMT

Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon
Pack of Camel cigarettes.
Notebook still empty.

Haiku #428

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 21:38:17 GMT

Two tits make cleavage.
And right down the torso is
Where you see beavage.

Haiku #427

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:26:28 GMT

What's an eraser
Doing in Beethoven's grave?
He's decomposing.

Haiku #426

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:26:05 GMT

It's not possible
For a limerick to be
A haiku also.

Haiku #425

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:25:42 GMT

Electricity.
Invisible, yet lethal
If you bathe with it.

Haiku #424

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:25:17 GMT

If someone asks you
What can you say in Spanish,
Just say "Grassy Ass".

Haiku #423

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:24:54 GMT

What if you performed
Desyllablization?
You'd be left with zilch.

Haiku #422

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 17:30:59 GMT

Horrible regret:
Punished kid with no wii games.
Punishment's on me.

Haiku #421

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 17:08:12 GMT

Time to do laundry.
Down to wearing prairie skirts
And acid washed jeans.

Haiku #420

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:29:52 GMT

Pray for pious smells,
Our Lady of Flatulence.
All farts are sacred.

Haiku #419

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:23:32 GMT

We'll do it my way.
I wear the biggest glasses.
and look the smartest.

Haiku #418

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:16:25 GMT

Panic is coming.
I need a brine shrimp chew toy.
ASAP, man.

Haiku #417

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:09:29 GMT

Useless purchases
seventeen pounds of sequins,
a brine shrimp chew toy.

Haiku #416

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 14:24:54 GMT

Just because you're grown
Doesn't mean you are too old
For a good spanking.

Haiku #415

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 13:30:37 GMT

D-bag in Cannon
That's my new composition.
I wrote it for you.

Haiku #414

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 12:46:52 GMT

Before you propose,
Let me give you some advice:
First check out her mom.

Haiku #413

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 12:25:53 GMT

Beethoven went deaf.
Not from hearing loud music;
From hearing his wife.

Haiku #412

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 03:13:06 GMT

Cute little bunny,
Why are you so chocolatey?
I guess I'll eat you.

Haiku #411

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 02:59:30 GMT

Five, Seven, and Five.
That's how I must write haiku?
Well, I say: "Faiku!"

Haiku #410

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:37:03 GMT

I ain't no dumbass.
I can do long division.
It's just...I'm a klutz.

Haiku #409

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:19:10 GMT

jack daniels and certs
a nice buzz for parents' visit
mom is nicer drunk

Haiku #408

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:01:50 GMT

weeds grow in my yard.
so i kill them with Round Up
but the weeds till win

Haiku #407

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:53:25 GMT

Who am I? I don't
know. I am looking all over.
Oh shit, there I am.

Haiku #406

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:44:35 GMT

Missing: One android.
"Pat Sajak- Benatar 6"
Has big hair, big wheel.

Haiku #405

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:37:47 GMT

I'm in a meeting.
How can I poke my eyes out
Surreptitiously?

Haiku #404

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 23:59:32 GMT

I have fantasies
Like dripping chocolate syrup
On her tasty nips.

Haiku #403

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 23:49:29 GMT

Best combination:
Chocolate and peanut butter,
Or Sonny and Cher?

Haiku #402

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 23:36:55 GMT

Your ass makes me think,
"Hark! A bag of cottage cheese!"
Say no to spandex.

Haiku #401

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:19:04 GMT

overwhelming stress
seeks isle with single worry
sand in bikini

Haiku #400

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:29:38 GMT

Coming this Easter:
"Jesus:Re-Animated"
Thrilling zombie flick.

Haiku #399

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:27:24 GMT

I am frightened of
Drug cartels in Mexico.
Thank G-d for Xanax.

Haiku #398

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:23:57 GMT

Which one is colder?
Winter in Massachusetts,
Or an angry stare?

Haiku #397

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:19:01 GMT

I want to Haiku
Just about as much as you
Wanna be laiku.

Haiku #396

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:01:51 GMT

The perfect breakfast:
A Pina-Kolonopin.
Start your morning right.

Haiku #395

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:55:52 GMT

Ronnie James Dio
King of the metal Haiku
Rainbow in the Dark.

Haiku #394

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:48:55 GMT

Start the long weekend
with a workout and yoga
After that, LOOK OUT!!!

Haiku #393

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:38:59 GMT

A knock at the door.
Two midgets in a trench coat.
Pretend we're not home.

Haiku #392

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:32:34 GMT

Mail slots are to dogs
What "Head On" ads are to us.
Who said yes to that?

Haiku #391

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:14:51 GMT

Raindrops coalesce
Blind in the sum of their parts
Puddle universe

Haiku #390

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:49:18 GMT

What's wrong with you, dude?
Put your damn collar back down.
Your neck is sweating.

Haiku #389

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:45:35 GMT

Long Live Degrassi!
Declan is so smokin hot.
Too bad he's jail bait.

Haiku #388

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:41:26 GMT

girl on girl is hot
but yikes, those acrylic nails?
I think they would hurt.

Haiku #386

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:28:10 GMT

Mr. Haiku likes all,
Very supportive web host,
He's so comforting.

Haiku #385

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:26:45 GMT

Peacealysse....Really?
Do you think Gil is better?
How can you say that? :(

Haiku #384

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:23:36 GMT

I should be sleeping,
or listening to the rain.
Haiku addiction!

Haiku #383

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:18:52 GMT

Granny at checkout
can't find her cat food coupon.
Oh, lady come on!

Haiku #382

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:18:11 GMT

No, I will not "hold".
I will put on my red cape,
and kick down your door.

Haiku #381

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:15:38 GMT

Lloyd and Pam, for reals,
that apostrophe is bad.
Please take it away.

Haiku #379

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:12:03 GMT

If one coffee's good,
Eight cups are even better!
WRONG. I feel like shit.

Haiku #378

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:09:55 GMT

fingers flying fast
bald guy, i'm coming for you
sharpen your pencil

Haiku #377

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:59:25 GMT

I'm sick, it's raining,
I could use a pick me up.
Vote for my haikus.

Haiku #376

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:56:00 GMT

hand between her thighs
his forearm muscles flexing
she's right on the verge

Haiku #375

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:53:19 GMT

My fourth grade teacher
flunked my poem, saying, "It
doesn't even rhyme."

Haiku #374

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:49:14 GMT

boys and I slept in
call it a personal day
take that, public school

Haiku #373

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:43:37 GMT

Pretty, skinny mom
Latte, cuffed jeans, and highlights
Please move your Hummer.

Haiku #372

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:18:25 GMT

I wished that I lived
Among the glens and the bens
Up in the Highlands

Haiku #371

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:08:33 GMT

I see your mouth move,
I gather you are talking.
Why don't you make sense?

Haiku #370

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:06:55 GMT

I'm writing haikus.
Why am I wasting my time?
Oops! Wrong place to vent.

Haiku #369

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:05:42 GMT

Kevin Youkilis,
A Jewish baseball player?
A freak of nature.

Haiku #368

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:03:53 GMT

The sun is shining,
The birds are chirping outside.
Too bad I'm in jail.

Haiku #367

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:57:59 GMT

Albert Einstein's dumb.
Ahmedinejad is sane.
(It's opposite day!)

Haiku #366

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:26:50 GMT

That apostrophe
In "LATEST HAIKU'S" is bad.
It shouldn't be there.

Haiku #365

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 10:50:40 GMT

There once was a man
From Nantucket. What? Ran out
Of space? Haiku sucks!

Haiku #364

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 07:32:58 GMT

Palestinians:
Just move to Afghanistan.
Palestinistan.

Haiku #363

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:14:43 GMT

I just realized this:
Grannies have gray pubic hair.
My eyes are bleeding.

Haiku #362

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:08:38 GMT

Hey, don't stop eating
to look like models. They have
anorexia.

Haiku #361

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:59:30 GMT

Burt Reynolds, my dear,
Do you still have that bear rug?
I'll bring the Cognac.

Haiku #360

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:58:23 GMT

If I were shipwrecked,
I'd want my food and clothing...
and Neosporin.

Haiku #359

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:47:58 GMT

What do people do
Who don't have a second fridge
For their Asahi?

Haiku #358

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:47:28 GMT

When there's a ratio
Of seven to one, that means
You're a bunch of dwarves.

Haiku #357

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:43:04 GMT

Leotards for all!
Jazz shoes, tights and leg warmers!
(Dance cups for the boys.)

Haiku #356

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:42:28 GMT

When I was a kid,
Old people used to bug me.
Now I'm one of them.

Haiku #355

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:38:11 GMT

There's still one question
Which is nagging in my mind:
Where's Ariel Sharon?

Haiku #354

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:26:03 GMT

Mustaches are rad.
Add an air of distinction.
I get mine waxed, though.

Haiku #353

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:20:05 GMT

My arch nemesis:
Zamfir, King of the Pan Flute.
The guy's a blow-hard.

Haiku #352

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:12:46 GMT

Open frosting can.
Dip finger inside, now lick.
Repeat as needed.

Haiku #351

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:12:28 GMT

With low self-esteem,
You vote for your own haiku.
When it's high, you don't.

Haiku #350

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:10:00 GMT

I think I know why
Moses wandered forty years:
He'd no GPS.

Haiku #349

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:02:51 GMT

Dental hygienists
Keep telling me how to brush.
They need to zip it.

Haiku #348

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:56:45 GMT

I ask my daughter
for a high five, but she flees...
just 'cause I farted?

Haiku #347

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:34:54 GMT

I push and I push,
But I'm still constipated.
PASS THE DAMN PRUNE JUICE!

Haiku #346

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:29:15 GMT

I saw a bear once.
It was eating a dead squirrel.
Woodland sashimi.

Haiku #345

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:27:21 GMT

Hey, workaholics.
Stop and smell the damn roses
'Ere you're under them.

Haiku #344

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:25:16 GMT

Not pretty, not smart.
I'm the new Heidi Montag.
Oh, no. Spencer Pratt.

Haiku #343

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:17:17 GMT

Mr. Robertson,
Please accept this gift of cash.
Use it on a heart.

Haiku #342

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:10:12 GMT

"The doctor will be
with you shortly," said the nurse.
Now that's just bullshit.

Haiku #341

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:59:27 GMT

Muhammad Ali
Was the greatest one of all.
(I'm wearing boxers.)

Haiku #340

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:57:22 GMT

Earthquake in Haiti;
Massive population loss.
Next: Armageddon?

Haiku #339

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:48:23 GMT

Aristophanes,
Aristotle, Sophocles.
Oh, and testicles.

Haiku #338

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:46:09 GMT

Roses are reddish,
Dandelions are yellow.
I've a foot fetish.

Haiku #337

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:39:09 GMT

I love that damn whale.
Wait...I think its a hippo.
Yellow tongue of doom.

Haiku #336

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:21:54 GMT

Want to lose some weight?
Get out of your mom's basement.
Put down the Funyuns.

Haiku #335

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:18:45 GMT

Worst earworm ever:
"Unskinny Bop," by Posion.
No, Bret Michaels, no.

Haiku #334

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:54:02 GMT

Taking Haiku break,
Feel bad for hogging top ten,
Vote for Trix, she's good.

Haiku #333

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:30:02 GMT

You do the dishes,
Clean up, get the kids to bed.
I'll give you good head.

Haiku #332

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:25:03 GMT

If you rip great farts
But no one's there to light them,
Do they really count?

Haiku #331

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:44:31 GMT

Math is so profane.
Just draw a Venn Diagram.
See? It looks like boobs.

Haiku #330

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:42:13 GMT

Arteries are clogged;
Doctor recommends fish oil.
Fuck it, chocolate rocks!

Haiku #329

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:40:30 GMT

Heat-seeking penis
Looking for wet vagina.
Sees Janet Reno; flops.

Haiku #328

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:36:03 GMT

Swine flu is nasty,
Tuberculosis is worse.
Jock itch beats them all

Haiku #327

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:20:40 GMT

Madoff made off with
many billions of dollars.
But now he wears stripes.

Haiku #326

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:18:56 GMT

Tiger's tee shots sail,
but what matters to him is:
the size of his putts

Haiku #325

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:16:31 GMT

I dream about hoops.
Last night I dunked over Shaq.
Why can't this be real?

Haiku #324

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 15:38:24 GMT

Please take out the trash.
And don't forget the new bag.
It's part of the job.

Haiku #323

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:54:39 GMT

loves me some bacon
salty piggy num nums *slurp!*
defibrillate me!

Haiku #322

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:24:06 GMT

oh, Pat Robertson
you swore a pact with Satan too
God, rid us of you!

Haiku #321

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:21:58 GMT

Bald Guy Greets Me Here
I Vote Zealously
He Beats Gilbert Handily

Haiku #320

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:15:57 GMT

I miss summer sun
rays of hot delicious sun
just like a big garlic clove

Haiku #319

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:12:04 GMT

Up all night with kid
The vomit went everywhere
Baby still happy

Haiku #318

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:57:25 GMT

The Vasectomy
IS covered by the health plan.
Boy am I lucky.

Haiku #317

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:56:17 GMT

And how they party
he and him make hot man love
you don't ask or tell.

Haiku #316

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:21:52 GMT

It's winter outside
I don't really mind cuz I
Really hate yard work

Haiku #315

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:16:56 GMT

Please stop at the store
It's on your way home and there's
Nothing to eat here

Haiku #314

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 12:28:46 GMT

When helicopters
Circle overhead, you should
Lock your doors up tight.

Haiku #313

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 12:10:30 GMT

lion roared, i danced
silence visits us again
big sigh of relief

Haiku #312

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:32:47 GMT

First haiku attempt,
this line is 7 syllables,
Did I do that right?

Haiku #311

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:17:16 GMT

Punching girls is bad
But, yo, free drinks are free drinks
Free me from NJ!

Haiku #310

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:57:38 GMT

It's not Friday yet!
Why must the workweek drag on?
Guess I'll masturbate.

Haiku #309

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 09:13:48 GMT

You can only watch
internet porn for so long.
That's why I haiku.

Haiku #308

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 09:05:10 GMT

Scheming high school friend
Rigs "funniest student" vote
I am above it

Haiku #307

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:50:51 GMT

Why do we shower?
Because we work out so much
Plus shampoo tastes good.

Haiku #306

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:42:47 GMT

Why dogs have bad breath:
It's not because they don't brush;
they eat their own poop.

Haiku #305

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:19:58 GMT

3am screaming.
ok. I'll sleep on the floor.
hold your hand through crib

Haiku #304

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:09:45 GMT

It is 6:00am.
Everyone is still sleeping.
I think I'll play drums.

Haiku #303

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 01:01:19 GMT

Tampons can't contain
All that my vag has to give.
Wash these pants in cold.

Haiku #302

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:35:02 GMT

Move your fucking ass.
You are such a manatee.
Did you feed the dogs?

Haiku #301

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:26:56 GMT

The fridge is empty.
We can eat eggs together
And drink Amstel Light.

Haiku #300

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:20:38 GMT

Oral sex not hot
When Bill Paxton is on screen.
Who invited him?

Haiku #299

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:18:01 GMT

Do I smell scalpy?
If I don't shower today,
Will people notice?

Haiku #298

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:09:17 GMT

go, Fitzcarraldo
schlep that boat over the hill
pointless exercise

Haiku #297

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:04:56 GMT

why were there no girls?
gender prejudice smackdown!
this bitch wants justice!

Haiku #296

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:58:00 GMT

haiku mania
words, jokes, rhymes, thumbs, and bald guys,
where do I fit in?

Haiku #295

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:54:03 GMT

I need Viagra,
I hate being called King Flaccid.
Screw it, I'll jerk off.

Haiku #294

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:49:24 GMT

Old McDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
What a stupid song.

Haiku #293

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:47:03 GMT

Some co-workers think
Complaining is productive.
They can kiss my ass.

Haiku #292

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:44:48 GMT

Five items or less,
Those are the Express Lanes rules.
So why'd you bring six?

Haiku #291

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:33:33 GMT

GoLean cereal
Good with milk, great with prune juice.
Fiber overdose.

Haiku #290

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:29:15 GMT

My kids are my life.
I'd have it no other way.
Then why do they scream?

Haiku #289

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:14:24 GMT

How can I say this:
Obama's an empty suit.
Only three more years!

Haiku #288

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:49:24 GMT

Thin ice on water
A swan appears to be stuck
Watch and wait all day

Haiku #287

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:14:01 GMT

yes roses are red
violets are blue and nice
u just smell quite bad

Haiku #286

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:11:06 GMT

I am stressing out
i have to much work to do
got to get it done

Haiku #285

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:47:59 GMT

Haiku should be fun
Everyone can win this game
lets Haiku, not war

Haiku #284

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:14:58 GMT

gilbert was so great
his haiku's can not be beat
everyone loves a fight

Haiku #283

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:27:29 GMT

I wonder if ihearthauiku
Prevents phrases like fuck you
Oops I guess it doesn't

Haiku #282

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:18:05 GMT

So this is the site,
I've heard so much about it,
Where's the bed wetter?

Haiku #280

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:41:02 GMT

McGwire took steroids?
Next thing I'll find out is that
the Pope's Catholic.

Haiku #279

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:33:59 GMT

I thought it could've been uglier, but maybe
that was wishful thinking
from me.

Haiku #278

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:33:10 GMT

well that wraps up our first ever haiku
smackdown.
we'll tally the votes, and have a winner tomorrow

Haiku #277

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:31:23 GMT

You close like you start,
Weak, timid, and quite poorly,
Better luck next time.

Haiku #276

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:29:44 GMT

This is how I close,
Your posts were bare like your head,
And, no "s", still six

Haiku #275

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:28:33 GMT

I've no time to teach,
"S" is not a syllable,
My verse was 5 beats.

Haiku #274

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:26:25 GMT

It's six syllables,
Should have made it five buddy,
William, no "s"

Haiku #273

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:25:02 GMT

I know Haiku well,
The syntax is pitch perfect,
What is the problem?

Haiku #272

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:24:26 GMT

i admit joke not good
neither are your greeting cards
or the commercials

Haiku #271

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:23:13 GMT

Learn to write haiku,
Is "Williams gave thumbs down"
In correct syntax?

Haiku #270

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:21:35 GMT

That's your best bald joke?
An obscure hair transplant gag,
Williams gave thumbs down.

Haiku #269

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:20:18 GMT

bosley is for hair
you are obviously bald
im a male are u

Haiku #268

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:17:58 GMT

Bosley Hair transplants,
Take hair from your nasty chest,
Put it to good use

Haiku #267

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:16:43 GMT

Call Bosley, what's that?
Is that what William calls you?
Your "male" good buddy.

Haiku #266

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:16:37 GMT

You're thinking before,
I am writing on the spot,
To counter your jokes

Haiku #265

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:15:03 GMT

Gilbert, you on break,
I thought we said two minutes,
Classic Gilbert crap.

Haiku #264

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:14:45 GMT

Talking with Martha,
She said you should call Bosley,
And she hates the cards

Haiku #263

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:12:43 GMT

Don't pick on the cards,
You lose credibility,
That shit's damn funny.

Haiku #262

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:10:37 GMT

Did you just delay,
Thinking with the same small brain,
That made those greetings

Haiku #261

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:09:09 GMT

I did the research,
Said you wet bed til 6th grade,
Meri told me this.

Haiku #260

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:06:41 GMT

Had to think it out,
Bed wetter was not funny,
Do some more research

Haiku #259

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:05:09 GMT

What happened to you?
Why such a delay, young Gil,
Long wait for bad jokes.

Haiku #258

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:03:25 GMT

Bud commercial sucks,
Greeting cards are even worse,
Baldness is the worst

Haiku #257

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:21 GMT

Alright young Gilbert,
Shall we start Haiku battling?
Good luck, bed wetter.

Haiku #256

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:19 GMT

I will start it off,
Bald guy greetings serving food,
Black Angus waitress

Haiku #255

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:18 GMT

Winner will be crowned tomorrow at 3pm based on the most positive votes.
May the best man win.
Ian, I think you are up first.

Haiku #254

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:05 GMT

Okay guys here we go.
Ten haikus each.
One minute to write a haiku (based on the time stamp of the preceding haiku)

Haiku #253

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:02 GMT

gilbert is the best
bald guy greetings will go down
an epic battle

Haiku #252

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:38:43 GMT

Gilbert and Sydney?
What's this I read on Facebook?
Hmmm, I must make fun.

Haiku #251

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:36:08 GMT

That relieves some stress,
I will now make haiku rhyme,
Sounds great I confess

Haiku #250

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:33:26 GMT

Gil, do you imply
Yasuda's the finaly word?
Just once, I'll comply.

Haiku #249

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:32:36 GMT

What I'm saying is,
A rhyming form of haiku,
Is called Yasuda

Haiku #247

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:14:57 GMT

Barack Obama,
Nobel Prize for sending troops,
Peace... my ass. You joke.

Haiku #246

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:57:45 GMT

I worked out today,
and even ate broccoli.
So why am I fat?

Haiku #245

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:53:46 GMT

Don't want to go
Can't make me
Okay, let's go

Haiku #244

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:53:24 GMT

Bald Guy and Gilbert,
Your haikus are interesting.
But mine kick more ass.

Haiku #241

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:14:46 GMT

Kids are unlike squash.
Children are living beings.
Pumpkins, well, they ain't.

Haiku #240

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:21:46 GMT

Hey to all of you,
People supporting bald guy,
No longer tonight

Haiku #239

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:21:11 GMT

Shout out to the fam,
Not mine, but Gilbert's of course,
Gonna crush your Cuz!

Haiku #238

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:22:57 GMT

For brain gymnastics
The haiku is fantastic
I Need to stretch now

Haiku #237

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:43:33 GMT

bright colorado
sun shines down for my people
to plant roots and grow

Haiku #236

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 08:56:30 GMT

The grey hippo wails
"This great site should be ad free!"
"Bite me" says the whale

Haiku #234

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:08:47 GMT

Taking the day off,
No Haiku for me today,
Well, except this one.

Haiku #232

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:28:29 GMT

standardized testing
stressful and inauthentic
any other way?

Haiku #231

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:31:03 GMT

in the LA Times
that blind architect story
boy am I grateful

Haiku #230

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:29:30 GMT

Michael Haneke,
"The White Ribbon" is awesome
and your DP rocks.

Haiku #229

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:56:15 GMT

HIRISE bakery
morning sandwich is tasty
egg and cheese biscuit

Haiku #228

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:56:02 GMT

Frost on my auto
Man has shorts on with racquet
Meusli in my belly

Haiku #227

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:41:42 GMT

Hummus, blueberries
Avocados, raspberries
Mushy, mushy mash

Haiku #226

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:17:34 GMT

The battle is on,
3PM West Coast, Wednesday,
10 - one minute rounds.

Haiku #225

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:00:41 GMT

Let's scratch that bald guy,
It will now be six o'clock,
The clock is ticking

Haiku #224

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:16:47 GMT

The smack-down is on,
Noon on Wednesday, P.S.T,
Bring some tissue, Gil.

Haiku #223

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:40:33 GMT

Wagner's great patron
Ludwig of Bavaria
Boy that guy was nuts

Haiku #222

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:27:16 GMT

I'm an architect
but like Tom Ford what I want
is (yep) to direct!

Haiku #221

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:20:13 GMT

Andrei Tarkovsky
Ranier Werner Fassbinder
That's some cheery stuff.

Haiku #220

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:17:34 GMT

Great ballerinas:
Lopatkina, Lezhnina,
and Makarova.

Haiku #219

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:05:34 GMT

Humbert Humbert says
that her name is Lolita
not Dolores Haze

Haiku #218

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:01:59 GMT

"Through a Glass Darkly"
"The Seventh Seal" "Virgin Spring"
Bergman is the best.

Haiku #217

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:57:28 GMT

the best show ever
tis how i met your mother
brilliant tv

Haiku #216

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:22:56 GMT

Old Errol Flynn and
Beverly Aadland, fifteen
on that bearskin rug.

Haiku #215

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:12:44 GMT

Lars, your "Antichrist,"
was it misogynistic
or nihilistic?

Haiku #214

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:01:29 GMT

Hey bald guy greetings,
They aren't supposed to rhyme,
Battle any time

Haiku #212

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:55:54 GMT

gilbert vs bald guy
battle i would like to see
who is supreme?

Haiku #211

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:30:37 GMT

Dear Werner Herzog,
"The Conquest of the Useless:"
How can I thank you?

Haiku #210

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:25:10 GMT

Do you want to be
notified when someone com-
ments on your Haiku?

Haiku #209

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:21:32 GMT

Hey there, Syberberg
your Brechtian Hitler film
requires ten viewings

Haiku #207

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:02:00 GMT

Funny name: Haiku,
Why would you say hi to Ku?
Crazy Asian Poems.

Haiku #206

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:59:39 GMT

Twinkle, twinkle eyes
Blue as sky, round like the sun
Nestled with the clouds

Haiku #205

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:16:06 GMT

I challenge Gilbert,
Ten minute haiku battle,
When can you do it?

Haiku #204

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:10:12 GMT

Gilbert? Schmilbert? Why?
Your Haikus are half ass, guy.
You are not a poet.

Haiku #203

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 22:11:21 GMT

Mike, Mike, much to learn,
The world isn't gold coated,
Example: Barack

Haiku #202

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:19:18 GMT

what a crazy game
ending at the last second
way to go 'zona

Haiku #201

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:10:21 GMT

Dog eyes stare at me,
Head slightly cocked to the left,
Fur as smooth as silk

Haiku #200

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:10:14 GMT

Dog eyes stare at me,
Head slightly cocked to the left,
Fur as smooth as silk

Haiku #199

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:10:07 GMT

Dog eyes stare at me,
Head slightly cocked to the left,
Fur as smooth as silk

Haiku #198

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:06:06 GMT

I write more Haikus,
Bald guy is very jealous,
So sorry brother

Haiku #197

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:04:17 GMT

Barack Obama,
Breaking all his promises,
Bye America

Haiku #196

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:03:03 GMT

Make me number one,
Click on that small little thumb,
I am watching you

Haiku #195

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 19:30:50 GMT

Flippin through vinyl
Bobbin my head to the tunes
Sunday night chillin

Haiku #193

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 16:53:44 GMT

Sipping Bhakti Chai
Staring at a hansome man
Taking him home today

Haiku #192

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 16:52:07 GMT

step Into the flow
ride the wave from crest to trough
universe expands

Haiku #190

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 16:21:39 GMT

Pumpkin Spice Latte
Wish you weren't seasonal
Sea Salt caramels

Haiku #189

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 14:43:47 GMT

gil bald guy feud
it kind of amuses me
lets get physical

Haiku #188

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 14:41:30 GMT

I hate the jets
o why did they have to win?
my least favorite team

Haiku #186

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 12:44:44 GMT

Don't try me bald guy,
I will take you to the ground,
They call me Shakespeare

Haiku #185

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 04:05:57 GMT

If it does, that's okay,
There is nothing wrong with that,
Just a figure of speech.

Haiku #184

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 04:05:49 GMT

Bring it on Gilbert,
Your prose adds fire to my flame,
Wait, does that sound gay?

Haiku #183

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 03:01:27 GMT

Snow in Florida,
Global warming fanatics,
Completely proved wrong

Haiku #182

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:59:09 GMT

Stop bald guy greetings,
He is hogging number one,
Vote for me instead!

Haiku #181

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:54:07 GMT

Short attention span,
Haiku are the perfect length,
What was I saying?

Haiku #180

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:14:43 GMT

Trust me, it will work.
This is why I am so rich.
Okay, I'm not rich.

Haiku #179

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:13:56 GMT

Food is love, my friend.
That is why I am so fat.
Or heredity.

Haiku #178

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:13:19 GMT

There was an old man
Who lived in a can, and he
Smelled like tuna fish.

Haiku #177

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:12:28 GMT

Turkey is pleasant.
But I'd rather have pheasant.
That's how I roll, bro.

Haiku #176

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:11:29 GMT

What is that, you say?
It's kind of hard to explain.
I'd say it's some poop.

Haiku #175

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:59:10 GMT

Thoughtful Thanatos,
Rises, retrograde, screaming.
What a bummer, dude.

Haiku #174

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:58:14 GMT

Happy Saturday!
Glad today is not Sunday,
Not 'nuff syllables

Haiku #173

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 16:39:55 GMT

going out tonight
i am such a party boy
it is going down

Haiku #172

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 16:11:20 GMT

Addicted to this
Why cant I stop Haiku-ing
I'm too good at it

Haiku #170

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:47:34 GMT

my dog ate the beans
the flatulence smells real bad
dogs should not eat beans

Haiku #169

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:05:31 GMT

yoga this morning
why do i do this to me
it is cold outside

Haiku #166

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 12:22:56 GMT

i am studying
SATs are next morning
I better do well

Haiku #165

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 09:53:25 GMT

wokeup still early
just lying in bed tired
what am i doing?

Haiku #164

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:26:26 GMT

I am not clever
I try so hard to be smart
It just doesn't work.

Haiku #163

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:24:24 GMT

We went out tonight
Friends were waiting there for us
We ate too much food

Haiku #162

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:06:14 GMT

Way past my bed time
Feeling under the weather
I will write haiku

Haiku #161

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:00:49 GMT

Threw up into bag
Should not have eaten chicken
Then cake was overload

Haiku #160

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 22:22:30 GMT

What is up with skin
sweat in heat flakey in cold
moisterize too late

Haiku #159

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:26:17 GMT

I name my haiku,
The name isn't too clever,
I call them My-Ku.

Haiku #158

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:24:14 GMT

Mediterranean,
Autobiographical,
Hummus on Hummus.

Haiku #157

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:10:45 GMT

Mouth opens wide
yellow sponge cake goes in
butt grows wide

Haiku #156

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:07:15 GMT

Relationship is based on trust
I read your diary
I can't trust you.

Haiku #155

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:46:30 GMT

Looking for a card?
Check Bald Guy Greetings DOT com,
Free plug, thanks Lloyd Stein.

Haiku #154

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:27:12 GMT

Pandering for votes,
It's sad, but it's been working,
So sorry, Trixie.

Haiku #153

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:43:14 GMT

Please click the thumbs up,
Thanks in advance for clicking,
You did click it, right?

Haiku #152

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:36:53 GMT

Here's my third Haiku,
Don't know why I keep writing,
but I do, I do.

Haiku #151

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:35:05 GMT

What are you doing?
No, no, what are you doing?
Just fricken' answer!

Haiku #150

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:34:03 GMT

Checking out Lloyd's site,
Found lots of Haiku on it,
Think I'll type one up

Haiku #149

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:27:10 GMT

i ate a green bean
and heard a big explosion
o my, how it stunk!

Haiku #148

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:17:37 GMT

Doing a puzzle
music on we watch the fire
my son here with me.

Haiku #147

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:17:26 GMT

Florida is cold
Something must be going on
Ice covering cars

Haiku #146

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:19:08 GMT

Snow flakes cover church
Subway roars beneath the street
Bringing my love home

Haiku #144

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:58:29 GMT

powerful shower
still leaves traces of soapy
suds under sack

Haiku #143

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:42:57 GMT

Truly a healthy
mental exercise also
most gratifying

Haiku #142

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:32:59 GMT

Stranger on the train
Glances tensely at his watch
He is late for work

Haiku #141

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:43:06 GMT

Pizza pizza dun
Pizza pizza pizza dun
I want some pizza!

Haiku #140

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:42:22 GMT

Once upon a time
I didn't know what to write
Oh, the sheer horror.

Haiku #139

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:41:52 GMT

I love my Reeses
Especially right before
2 hours of fighting.

Haiku #138

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:40:49 GMT

people are online
i am no longer alone
the weekend was dull

Haiku #137

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:39:55 GMT

I am damn lazy
I love japanese culture
But don't like Grandma

Haiku #136

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:39:12 GMT

Hello everyone.
How do you do, I wonder?
Hopefully, you're well.

Haiku #135

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:37:31 GMT

What is my secret?
I was once a dinosaur
But now I'm just cute

Haiku #134

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:36:18 GMT

Oh no, it's Sunday
Tomorrow must be Monday
Crap, this really sucks

Haiku #133

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:35:18 GMT

What are toenails for?
I have no idea, but
they're fun to paint...

Haiku #132

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:29:47 GMT

My ugly fake tree...
If it were a real woman,
She'd be a bald one.

Haiku #131

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:28:17 GMT

fat panda waddles
it is chinese and girly
i love fat panda

Haiku #130

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:27:18 GMT

I'm a Preppy girl,
Take me out to go shopping,
Gag me with a spoon!

Haiku #129

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:26:15 GMT

Ozzy, leave your wife
That shrew will work you to death
I'll take care of you

Haiku #128

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:10:33 GMT

Pound the pavement hard.
Dance around the house happy.
I sleep all day long.

Haiku #127

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:22:06 GMT

My muscles are pumped
The weights feel so good to me
My penis is small

Haiku #126

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 22:39:08 GMT

Christmas can be fun
A huge bird stuffed with butter
Is my hair OK?

Haiku #125

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:09:02 GMT

Egg nog moustache beams
Fruit Cake parked in my colon
I just want to sleep

Haiku #124

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:39:44 GMT

capitolism
irresponsiblity
cannibalistic

Haiku #123

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:29:03 GMT

I love my Esme
She walks on water and air
She has pretty hair

Haiku #122

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:16:27 GMT

if I were a man
my brain wouldn't be so small
work in the kitchen

Haiku #121

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:23:14 GMT

why do we haiku?
haikuing is very hard
syllables ugh argh!

Haiku #120

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 20:52:16 GMT

i really like pie!
pie pie i really like!
pie pie pie pie pie...

Haiku #119

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:52:32 GMT

CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, SUCK!

Haiku #118

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 08:15:53 GMT

'Lord of the Rings'-like,
I want to ride one of those
giant talking trees.

Haiku #117

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:11:58 GMT

What would happen if
hippos flew from my butt crack?
Would I feel relief?

Haiku #116

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:58:26 GMT

why just seven dwarfs?
were eight just to many? i
think there should be more.

Haiku #115

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:56:40 GMT

Mr. Rogers 'hood
seems like a nice enough place.
why can't i live there?

Haiku #114

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:55:59 GMT

why do people ask
how you are when your pet dies?
I say, "great -- 'til now."

Haiku #113

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:53:16 GMT

i saw a French fry
on the ground at McDonalds.
i ate it. so what?

Haiku #112

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:51:58 GMT

do manatees hate
when people grab their flippers?
i really think so.

Haiku #111

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:49:27 GMT

Walmart has the smell
of poverty and high class.
stinky, yet quite nice.

Haiku #110

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:49:25 GMT

Widow's menstruation
smells like minnows and steak 'ums,
the limo's waiting

Haiku #109

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:45:30 GMT

Archie felt dirty
the grandfather clock's sass was
too funky for funk

Haiku #108

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:53:02 GMT

"Good nuggets, Mother!"
Tom exclaimed, his heart racing,
"Hope I can eat them!"

Haiku #106

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:38:03 GMT

Grandkids are so great
Nineteen is a large number
Do you know their names?

Haiku #105

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:37:32 GMT

my foot moves closer
to your foot and your foot moves
toward your other foot

Haiku #103

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:28:53 GMT

Give me a break, break
me a give, piece me off a
break of that kat kit

Haiku #102

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:00:10 GMT

petulant zombies
coming to suck our left lobes
god, they're possessive

Haiku #101

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:21:47 GMT

I want to vomit
my Amish aunt nods oddly
when she bobs for cod

Haiku #100

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:16:29 GMT

Second hand smoke kills
the lungs and tongues of young ones
Guess they can't grow gills

Haiku #99

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:13:12 GMT

These aptitude tests
are bad for you, yet math and
'kus have a duet

Haiku #98

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:58:00 GMT

ZIPPITY ZOO-BAH!
MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR!
SUNSHINE QUININE HUGS!

Haiku #97

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:50:04 GMT

everyone's sleeping
dreaming of gypsum and jam
I like marmalade

Haiku #96

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:59:54 GMT

I AM SO AWESOME
REALLY, I AM SO AWESOME
SO WHY AM I ALL ALONE?

Haiku #95

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:30:35 GMT

my philosophy?
i haiku, therefore i am
it's simple, really

Haiku #94

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:58:25 GMT

This is my tenth hai
ku, and I'm thrilled to have writ
ten ten in one day

Haiku #93

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:54:14 GMT

Rick Moranis gives
kids ceramic dish sets with
hammers and hammocks

Haiku #92

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:47:56 GMT

Citizen grandma
cannot change these candy canes
into ten pandas

Haiku #91

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:37:16 GMT

Dennis and Sweet Dee
get molested on TV
by Ted Kennedy

Haiku #90

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:41:23 GMT

I logged in today.
My old password expired.
Time to go home now.

Haiku #89

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:39:10 GMT

We just bought a Wii
My son and my daughter played.
Moms and dads just watch

Haiku #88

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:27:27 GMT

A reticent fawn
whacks her gash with spatulas
then treads on the lawn

Haiku #87

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:11:03 GMT

I hear Tiger Woods
likes to hit it in the rough,
eat me, Google News

Haiku #86

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:06:43 GMT

Procastinating
ancestors eat Snickers bars
before they shower.

Haiku #85

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:12:37 GMT

I hate to be the
Bearer of bad news, but some
bear just ate your mom.

Haiku #84

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:07:22 GMT

Why do haikus try
to find you at night to strike
you with the swine flu?

Haiku #83

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:00:32 GMT

Nature got pissed off
If you have bags, unzip them
because traffic sucks

Haiku #82

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:23:57 GMT

Why do children cry
when nine black bears attack them?
Even five EEP-flit

Haiku #81

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:12:13 GMT

Check out this haiku:
Oh wait, I can't start it now
Syllables are off

Haiku #80

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 12:22:22 GMT

a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

Haiku #79

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:49:54 GMT

number two pencil
pointed at you, lake champlain
ticonderoga

Haiku #78

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:47:52 GMT

we may or may not
be hurtling toward nothing
here, have a cupcake

Haiku #77

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:55:48 GMT

The Grinch stole Christmas
Not a real Dr, Seusse is?
What else could go wrong?

Haiku #75

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:44:41 GMT

Wait, whose tongue is that?
It tastes terrible, like death
sprinkled with absinthe

Haiku #74

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:42:18 GMT

It's not personal
When I dislike your haiku
Try harder next time

Haiku #73

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:41:47 GMT

in the highlander
connor macleod stayed the same
she got old and died

Haiku #72

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:38:10 GMT

Please never forget
Eastbourne station rail crash
Just because I did

Haiku #71

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:34:45 GMT

I like that you like
the things you like and I know
you like me the same

Haiku #70

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:33:54 GMT

DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T TOUCH
ME DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T TOUCH ME
DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T TOUCH

Haiku #69

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:32:49 GMT

Remind me to say
that you remind me of how
kittens touch my hair

Haiku #68

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:31:14 GMT

I still remember
the drawings on my lunchbags
that was nice of you

Haiku #67

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:30:47 GMT

I'm not from New York
I say that, but I don't think
that you understand

Haiku #66

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:29:15 GMT

I am Chompsky Honk
You will obey my commands
Or not, that's fine, too

Haiku #65

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:28:12 GMT

Five syllables CHAW!
Seven syllables ka-CHAW!
Five syllables CHAW!

Haiku #64

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:26:54 GMT

Kull of Atlantis
Alexander de Bicknor
Nothing in common

Haiku #63

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:25:23 GMT

Peter Andersson
Retired Swedish hockey
Likes to beat women

Haiku #62

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:22:19 GMT

Kids are great sometimes
They laugh, jump, and roll around
Non sequitur fluff

Haiku #61

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:08:33 GMT

This is my first haiku
Because I am new to this, my form may be slightly off
I hope I can improve

Haiku #60

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:25:11 GMT

porno kitty cat
shimmy shimmy boom boom boom
baby has TB

Haiku #59

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:22:53 GMT

today I got stuck
behind a white-haired lady
maybe she's stuck too

Haiku #58

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:20:28 GMT

reindeer are calling
such loving whispered secrets
we'd never eat you

Haiku #57

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:38:56 GMT

Bumper sticker says
honk if you did Tiger Woods
wow, now I am deaf

Haiku #56

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:49:47 GMT

try chemical sleep
a little more will work right?
this is how it starts

Haiku #55

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:12:14 GMT

writing is hard
i don't know if i want to
spend time in my head

Haiku #54

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:42:24 GMT

I said I Haiku
The next response that was heard
She said, "God bless you."

Haiku #53

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:31:43 GMT

It is turkey time.
Great food, friends and family.
Gives thanks and a belch.

Haiku #52

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:54:48 GMT

H & M are loves.
He thinks she walks on water.
She gets wet a lot.

Haiku #51

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:41:37 GMT

Palin's a great find
To laugh at or to revere.
Which one do you do?

Haiku #50

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:11:04 GMT

Lloyd and Pam are ours
We love them so very much
But their minds are werid.

Haiku #49

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:09:21 GMT

my mom has just died
*lol* we are here for you, lol
that is so sad *lol*

Haiku #48

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:42:08 GMT

Do it, I dare you.
no really, double dog dare.
That's what she said.

Haiku #46

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:28:09 GMT

Haiku's are fun.
but they don't always make sense.
Refrigerator

Haiku #45

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:47:41 GMT

quartet plays for boy
eyes closed he hears birds not strings
one child dreams the world

Haiku #44

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:34:08 GMT

reply to 42
a flesh eaters bacchanal?
fidget fart and burp

Haiku #43

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:24:47 GMT

limbic resonance
ocean waters crash the shore
wall street man spends cash

Haiku #42

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:41:31 GMT

Eggs, Bacon, Toast, Jam
Meat pie, chicken pot pie, eat pie
Tummy hurts, I cry.

Haiku #41

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:58:33 GMT

he puked on my shoes
and I returned the favor
all you can eat sushi

Haiku #40

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:52:26 GMT

i found a penny
those used to be fun to find
cold sad little coin

Haiku #39

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:48:02 GMT

swine flu kiss my ass!
bird, mad cow, what's next? donkey??
curb the media!

Haiku #38

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:35:43 GMT

cellophane dreamers
escape to the fallen snow
and find me hidden

Haiku #37

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:35:08 GMT

ha ha ha ha ha
Mwahahahahahaha
Bwahahahaha

Haiku #36

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:56:16 GMT

why am I accused?
I will not play the victim
authenticity

Haiku #35

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:02:35 GMT

heart is a mirror
humans train their sons to kill
love moves pained in war

Haiku #34

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:58:15 GMT

peace is relations
offer food water and hand
listen to your heart

Haiku #33

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:55:10 GMT

elephant daddy
killed for tusks african dawn
cruelly we destroy

Haiku #32

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:40:04 GMT

the desk stands waiting
she asks words to disappear
an empty page glows

Haiku #31

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:38:03 GMT

her child was crying
mother's sorrow tore the room
curtains and walls wept

Haiku #30

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:35:30 GMT

did you step away
turning while my back was turned
distanced from our love

Haiku #29

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:45:28 GMT

I hit the floor hard
Nose bleeds, tooth cracked, swollen eye
Thank you Boone's Farm Wine.

Haiku #28

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:24:33 GMT

Snuggie™ so soft, warm
Need to make crotch hole
Come sit on my lap

Haiku #27

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:48:13 GMT

I play touch football
A dog runs by and barks loud
Green grass smells like pee

Haiku #26

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:48:10 GMT

potatos brewing
it is cold in the taco
suggestive? penis

Haiku #25

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:26:31 GMT

David Hasselhoff
Drunk burger eating butthole
Oh how I love wine

Haiku #24

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:05:35 GMT

because i love you
i make you eat your vegies
please put that knife down

Haiku #23

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:05:28 GMT

My Evil Twin Scott
The Light Side of The Mountain
The End of Science

Haiku #22

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:48:27 GMT

forward thinking man
woman with comfortable shoes
gender state of mind

Haiku #21

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:34:51 GMT

My wish to be tall
Makes me feel shorter then you
I'll wear taller shoes.

Haiku #20

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:51:11 GMT

The porn chick screams loud,
It doesn't look like much fun,
How does she do that?

Haiku #19

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:00:33 GMT

Please call home often.
Even when you have to fart.
I will just hang up.

Haiku #18

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:56:50 GMT

I couldn't hear you.
Speak into the mic, dumbass.
Where am I anyway?

Haiku #17

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:39:19 GMT

Single-serving friends.
Anear-life experience.
Ah. Flashback humor.

Haiku #16

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:26:12 GMT

The goth kid struts hard,
past Sears and the Baby Gap,
his lip ring shines bright.

Haiku #15

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:19:23 GMT

i eat from the bag of chips
face covered in grease
why can't I get laid